Yesterday, I met with a client. Not unusual.
We met in my office. Again, not unusual.
My white board was blank and I had no apparent agenda for the meeting. This was unusual, as we would normally have a clear idea of the subject matter and outcomes we planned to achieve.
Instead, I asked, “What do you do when you’re not working?” And, when he found it difficult to answer, “What would you like to be doing in your spare time?”
This led to a wider discussion, largely based around two things: the first being the concept of “spare time” and the other about planning.
Too often, we don’t have spare time because we fill any gaps with work. We become so tied up in our business, we don’t make time for ourselves — and we (as people) are the losers. We become our business and the business becomes us; we become defined by our business.
This is so dangerous on so many fronts. Sometimes, even families suffer because we convince ourselves that, if we aren’t spending every spare moment in our business (notice I didn’t say “on” our business and that’s another issue) the business will suffer and that causes feelings of guilt if we’re not working.
In fact, we doing ourselves, our families and yes, even our businesses, a disservice if we are not taking time out — for us.
The reality is that each one of us should take the view that we are an employee of our business. We have set roles and responsibilities and are accountable for our performance. In fact, if the business is Pty Ltd entity, we are an employee of that entity by law.
The other reason it’s dangerous is that when we finally sell or depart the business, there’s nothing left but a gaping hole in our lives. This can lead to bad places and, unfortunately, it’s more common than you might think.
So, this became the subject matter of the meeting with my client. Take time off and, just as important, take the time to discover outside interests. He knows, from past experience that working up to 80 hours per week is not good for physical or mental health, it’s not good for other staff and it’s not good for business.
So, we’re not going down that road again. It was because I saw him preparing that exact path, that the need for such a discussion was apparent.
I receive a weekly newsletter from Valerie Khoo at the Australian Writer’s Centre and todays referred to the need for a different type of meeting.
“Here’s a meeting you don’t need Zoom for this week. It’s a meeting with yourself, so try not to be late. You wouldn’t want to keep yourself waiting!
What will you need to bring? No, not your lawyer — it’s not that kind of meeting. A notebook and pen? Sure, that’s a good idea. You can meet at a cafe or arrange to meet at home — at a time most convenient for you. Ideally, you’ll need around an hour, so actually schedule it in like you would any other appointment — make time for yourself.
Okay, enough with the build up. The meeting is for your half-yearly performance review. With yourself. That’s right, 2020 is inexplicably half-over. And while all of our lives have been disrupted in some way due to Corona, you should still take stock and ask important questions of yourself.
What have you ticked off so far this year?
What items remain on the list?
Are you where you want to be right now? (Job-wise or personal.)
If not, are you exploring ways to help you get there?
Celebrate the wins. Be honest in your assessment, but also understanding. It’s not about berating yourself or feeling down. Perhaps you’re not where you want to be, but remember you’re also not where you used to be. Small steps.
Here at AWC, we love helping people get to where they want to be, all year round. Yes, 2020 has been a challenging one — but you hold the key to rewriting the narrative. It can still be your best ever. Go and schedule that meeting right NOW.
Have a great week!”
OK, so Valerie was referring to Coronavirus and its effects.
I am using this as the basis of the idea of commitment to a regular, scheduled, focussed meeting with — yourself. In fact, I would suggest such meetings be more regular than Valerie suggests. Maybe monthly and even weekly meetings in addition to six-monthly; each with a separate agenda, but each with the objective of evaluating your performance and planning for the coming week, month, six-month period.
And planning was the second issue mentioned earlier. We often make plans for ourselves in our business to ensure tasks are complete and that customer demands are met. However, how often de we plan for our spare time? I have found that when people make plans, prepare lists and create a disciplined approach for life outside work, they are much more productive and lead much fuller lives. That list might include time for reading or watching a movie and that’s perfectly fine.
There is a great deal of satisfaction from ticking off an item on a list. “Do the crossword in the weekly paper.” Done. Tick. Great. Next? Lawns?
My client sent me a text last night thanking me for a purposeful meeting. Potentially, his life will change.
